i'm the man who loves you?

ll I can see is black & white & white & pink
And play it to blue
Then lay between the words I think
That picture that I was meaning to send her
You, I couldn’t tell if I bring my art
The way I started
Writing this letter to you
If I could, you know I would
Just hold your hand & you’d understand
I’m the man who loves you
All I can be is a busy sea of
Spinning wheels & hands that feel
For stone to throw
And feet that run
That come back home and
Makes no difference, ever ya know
Makes no difference ever known to me
If I could, you know I would
Just hold your hand & you’d understand
I’m the man who loves you
All I can see is black & white & white & pink
And play it to blue
Then lay between the words I think
That picture that I was meaning to send her
You, I couldn’t tell if I bring my art
The way I started
Writing this letter to you
If I could, you know I would
If I could, you know I would
If I could, you know I would
I’m the man who loves you
I’m the man who loves you
I’m the man who loves you
I’m the man who loves you

i have nothing to say tonight. i have a few comments on love and lonliness and desperation.

greg the boyfriend is a douchebag, but he writes some interesting things once in a while. he recently spoke about how he is befuddled as to why we moved away from marrying early. now, most of us are jaded and broken and sour by the time we settle down. we do it just to get things over with. we do it because it's better than nothing.

then my co-worker was talking about how she took her son to her church's "sex talk." apparently there's a term for girls who have sex once and realize the error of their ways. then they decide to be abstinate until marriage. i asked her if that still counts. she laughed at me.

i went out to drink with lots of former law enforcement officials this evening. they got me more drunk than i should've been for driving purposes. most of them tried to hit on me while the wives tried to set me up with their sons.

i cleaned out my desk today.
i found two things that i'd been unwittingly holding onto. the first was a picture of me with my ex's dog. the photo was taken during my first visit back to his house after i'd been dumped from another state. i looked completely beautiful and happy. i ripped it up into several pieces before throwing it away.
i also found a card that the married man made me. i didn't rip that one up. i just placed it in the trash bin.

i don't love him. i love what he reminds me of.