fat children

fat children make me sad.

the married man's wife and daughter were in today. i was in the same room as them, with other co-workers, and didn't say a word to her. she'd also been in the day before, but i was cordial then. she was with their oldest son that time. he's adorable. two or three, i guess. the married man brought him over to my room to say hi and that's all i said: "hiiiii!" and then we both looked down at him, my smile began to shake, we suffered an awkward silence that i'm convinced even the child felt, and i finally walked away.

but the daughter. she's just so big. my observation is not out of malice or any ill-will i may already harbor out of my adulterous jealousy; it's factual. he told me that they'd recently taken her to the doctor to make sure things were ok. of course he didn't update me. i found out through another co-worker that things are "ok" according to the Doc. the married man generally doesn't discuss his wife or children with me. especially his wife.

but watching the child walk about the classroom like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man was almost unbearable. he looked awkward, embarrassed, sitting casually and dejectedly on a student's desk. the wife followed the little giant around to coddle and catch and guide. i don't think she's a good mother. i don't think he feels she is either. god, it's an interesting situation to have my perspective. to know the darkness of a marriage and then see the facade come to life. but then again, i hear that's what all marriages are like. why even bother? i'm failing to see the point here. maybe i should look at someone else's notes.

i will never marry young.

hell, after working at my job, i should never marry. period.

after she'd left with the cute son the other day, a female co-worker of ours began to compliment the married man on his attractive spouse. i heard the word "skinny" and "pretty." he said nothing. i can only assume he nodded an acknowledgement, but his silence was for me. i couldn't actually look to see his response. that would've been obnoxious.