salacious is my favorite word

there is a wind, vibration, tingle...indecipherable--like the annoyance of knowing that car in your blind spot is going the exact same speed as yourself--and unsettling.

why have we met this way?

there is so much laughter...
things aren't making sense.
[i need the concrete. i want to mold this into something. then i can sit back, look, shave, chip, alter, crumble, destroy, create. let's go, please.]
i am your dream, not in it, and my body is moving about. my visions are blurred and antagonizing. but the colors are cool. you are always calming. you clean up after yourself (i can do it for you). i'm always picking up after you.

i want more than this. i want more than you. i'm looking into an empty pot, distracted by the silver scratches. swirls of a mother, a father, a woman alone.

i hear you cutting yourself and now i understand why.