another theory of mine

i went to a moe. concert last night. for those of you not familiar with this band, it's a jam-band (yeah, hippies, drugs, flailing limbs, pachouli...that kind of scene) from upstate New York. i don't typically enjoy all jam band shows, but this was a decent one. but the concert itself is not what is important here. what is important is that i discovered that hippie-musicians share a gene with the puppets of Jim Henson. i'm dead ass, guys.

the bassist of moe., who's name is Rob Derhak, for those of you that know names (and for those of you that looked it up like me) is not a slender man. nor is he prone to cut his hair close to his noggin. that should give you a generic idea of what he looks like. now, add a goofy facial expression that resembles that of child-aged Gorg from Fraggle Rock:



my theory is that Mr. Derhak is onto this notion and has scoured the internet to remove any pictures of himself with long hair. he is onto this striking resemblance and is going to the ends of the earth to hide his god-awful secret. but my plea to you, Mr. Bass-Line-God-of-the-I-Make-My-Own-Clothes-College-Kids is: be free. practice what your music preaches, man. no one cares that you're a decendent of the Gorgs! sure, they were mean and sure they tried to eat Wembley and Red and company, but we can open up to forgive you.

either that or cut your hair again. i'm spreading this theory across the Internet and you cannot hide much longer, dear.