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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

let's get logical, logical

a recent entry of justin's over at dude.man.phat. left me initially feeling virginous, and then feeling perplexed.

seriously. who makes up these things? no really. who?

for the sake of discussion, let's take the dirty sanchez. (if you don't know what it is, drop justin a line and he'll redirect your call.)

but for those who can participate, let's be adults for a moment. surely we can apply logic to an odd sexual act! of course we can.

the format of this round-table discussion will be that of me asking questions, me talking about my theories, and then you answering them. preferably with humor. or complete distaste. make sure you see the sign-in sheet. it's floating around there somewhere.

good. so, back to the ol' Dirty Sanchez.

first and foremost, is there anyone out there who has actually been one consentual half of this, um, technique? does it simply exist in porn?

maybe this is why i'm sexually deprived, but i can't see this happening in most beds, or any bed, of anyone i know, have seen, or could imagine. if one even wanted to try such a thing with their lover, how is the topic approached? do you take her out for some Mexican food first to allow for a little transition? are there instruction manuals? i'm sure that some kind of poorly judged move could lead to some painful bruising, at the very least. i think the horrors of having to explain your predicament to the ER nurse would be deterrent enough. heh. i wonder if Richard Gere has tried this out...

also, do such conceived activities exist for those who need such fetishes? if so, must there be a corresponding act for each weird thing? one maybe where the man is strangled with the strap of an espidrille before the woman finishes him off? it doesn't always have to be the female being exposed to the vile parts of such fantasies, i'm sure. because that would just be sexist. and i don't have to take that.

and lastly, let's talk about the fact that these techniques are all named by what was either an immature email-forwarder or a pornstar producer seeking to increase it's popularity with thehungry, mexican, or youthful viewer market.

actually, let's not talk about that.

in fact, this meeting is adjourned.

let's never speak of this again.

7 Comments:

At 8/03/2005 03:56:00 PM, Blogger Paul said...

Dirty Sanchez!?

Why don't you talk about Gut Punching!

 
At 8/03/2005 04:03:00 PM, Blogger kristine said...

well, i know that's your thing, paul. i 'm not one to step on toes.

 
At 8/03/2005 07:10:00 PM, Blogger justin said...

Don't forget "the Houdini."

That's a howler!

 
At 8/03/2005 10:01:00 PM, Anonymous Neil said...

I'm so naive. I have no idea what any of you are talking about. Is it sort of like reaching "third base?"

 
At 8/03/2005 10:07:00 PM, Blogger kristine said...

hush, neil.

sex dictionary

 
At 8/04/2005 06:23:00 AM, Anonymous Neil said...

Now I sort of wish I didn't know. Is the "missionary position" just considered boring and "old school?"

 
At 8/04/2005 01:48:00 PM, Blogger kristine said...

neil, neil, neil. just stick to the dollar store barbies.

 

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