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Monday, April 11, 2005

fun stuff for a Monday

my friends gave me linkage. a blink, if you will.

(do you have something on the ettiquette of this, Jeremy?)

so i'm going to pimp him out. and her. my pimping sees no gender. it is asexual, if you will. something i can only aspire to be...but for now, it shall only be obtained by my pimping.

(right.)

so, my friend is Gina.
her man-friend is Jon.

she is arguably the hottest girl under 5 feet i have ever seen. ever.
she is also intelligent. she knows a lot about feminism and literature. she has a Masters Degree. she's well traveled. she's really funny and allows me to Windex her current apartment when i'm drunk (while her man friend cleans the toilet with Coke--c'mon, you know you got that email forward. he just put it to the test, my friends.) and she helps me when i'm stoned. sometimes i get stoned and bad things happen. historically speaking, that is. but i'd imagine that if i were to be stoned once again, she'd continue this behavior. even if she were incredibly hungry.

he is really nice. he sings very well, plays guitar very well, and is really funny even while driving a non-power steering vehicle. i shit you not. sometimes he has stalker groupies and i tend to hate them. but, in spite of such annoyances, jon remains nice. he also happens to be a Boston fan. and i still think he's nice. that should say a lot about how nice he really is.

so please listen to Jon Gorey's music. especially if you live in Boston, because then you can go see him play. and you could probably even talk cleansing products with him. and be nice to Gina. the rest of the girls there, you are free to condescend. but only if they are avid online Scrabble players.

*****

today's classroom comedy:

The Scene
Two pubescent teenagers seated in the computer lab, dressed and prepared for the day's lesson. the female is seated behind the male and is gently massaging his shoulders. in an adjoining room, class is commencing.

[Enter Teacher]

Teacher: Umm, guys...what are you doing?

Male Student: (talking with a deep voice that is counteracted with a pronounced lisp) We're waiting to for Mr. Smith. Mr. Anderson said we were working with him today.

Female Student: Yeah.

Teacher: Well, that's great, but it doesn't mean we're going to massage each other in the mean time.

(Male student rolls eyes and leaves the room without pushing in his chair. Female student sighs noticeably and also leaves the room, not nearly as embarrassed as she should be. Teacher remains to ponder her use of sarcasm in the classroom.)

Fin.

2 Comments:

At 4/11/2005 10:15:00 PM, Blogger Jehza said...

I think you got the etiquette down pat :))
Thanks for adopting my terminology :D

 
At 4/12/2005 09:34:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's like I'm "almost famous!"

 

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