i'm not *that* desperate

so, this guy moved in to my neighbor's house. after some minor investigative work, i discovered that this boy is the eldest son of my neighbors. this means that he is my age and has just returned home to live with his parents. and we all know i will not fault him there!

it took little time at all to realize that this boy is very good looking. and even less time to realize that he's hoTT when i saw him mowing the lawn, sans shirt, the other day.

now my investigation has kicked up a few notches. i begin inquiring to my mother if she knows any details. i ask around among my circle (eh, so maybe it's a triangle) of friends and some other peers of the neighborhood.

my results are discouraging. mr. cutie is apparently freshly sprung from the big house, kiddos.

ok, well, is it that bad? people change, right? sure! he did his time!

i share this with the momma dukes and she seems to feel that there is still potential. so, i don't give up hope--yet.

as we go about our lives in taunting proximity, we still have not introduced one another. it's still last-minute waves as i'm pulling out of the driveway or he's slipping away to more yardwork.

...then, i get a call from Lana.

"oh my god, do you know who he is?"

"i have general idea, but more details would be appreciated."

"he just got out of prison, right? and his last name is Rhinebach?"

"yeah?"

"dude, he's one of the kids that set fire to Lori and Carmine's house five years ago! remember? when they were on vacation?"

fuck.

a drug addict? maybe. car theif, sure. but arsonist? i'm not sure i can swing that one. and yeah, there's a story that makes him seem slightly less rough around the edges, but c'mon. arson?

and the punchline is killer. my mother is still encouraging the hookup. she even knows the victims! (and we know those people! Lori and Carmine are recognizable names in my household. granted, it has something to do with my father's heavy drinking habit, but still...arson?) so, as my mother strikes up a conversation with the father, mr. cutie mowing in the distance, i sit here thinking we should treat our elaborate deck with some sort of fire retardant.