bachelor #2 & the DARPA challenge

his name was Fred. he'd joined our entourage at some point during our bar hopping. i think it was the third bar. it must have been during a quest for a cigarette or something. i only remember T introducing him to me with disbelief:

do you know who this is?! it's Mr. Clark's son!

Mr. Clark had been our physics teacher in high school. he was a bizarre man that had a passion for the subject he taught. he was a laid-back character with this head of fuzzy hair that seemed indicative of some kind of mulatto heritage. we had lots of theories. he was involved with some kind of project to build a solar car that year and it took over the content of our curriculum. if you volunteered any one Saturday of the academic year, you were likely to receive an A in the course. it was only fun for the geek factor, which inevitably relates to humor. the Sol Machine, paired with our goofy teacher, was a guaranteed good time

so running into his son was a mere coincidence that became fantastic because we were quite drunk. in time it came out that he'd come out to that particular college town alone that evening. it was only natural that he remain a part of our pre-birthday-celebrating party-in-a-box.

he had crazy hair. i've been describing it as a mix between Justin Guarini and Sideshow Bob. and it was blonde. he kind of looked Scandinavian. though, i've only met two Scandinavians in my life. wait, three.

anyway, i think that's what locked in my radar. or it could've been my lack of sexual activity. regardless of the catalyst, i did my best to remain liplocked with this big-haired nordic for the remainder of the evening. evidently, i also did my best to make sure that my two friends knew my feelings about his looks. the next day, T informed me that i would not stop saying "he's so fucking hot!" for much of the evening. i actually didn't even know his name until our original clan was reunited for the drive home.

isn't it weird that Fred was out by himself? T said

who's Fred?

[laughter from both girls] umm...the guy you were making out with all night? T explained.

what? that's not his name, is it?

yeah, you jackass!

damn. that's a dumb name. good thing he's hot.

at some point i'd given him my phone number because he called me the following evening. i'd spent the entire day nursing my hangover with food and mini-naps. i was piecing together the evening and increasing my humiliation in the process so i didn't answer initially. when i called him back we made some tentative plans to hang out again. i didn't want to but when you have not other prospects, it's foolish to come up with reasons not to be social, even if they are completely logical.

a few nights later i drove to his house--well, his parents' house. my former physics teacher's house. over the phone he explained that he was working on something with his brothers but that he'd be done soon so we could watch a movie or something. sure. fine.

Fred answered the door and it was terribly awkward. i didn't expect it not to be. he looked about the same as i'd remembered him, though i can't say i'd insist on proclaiming his hotness while sober. i walked into their entrance way and he offered me a beer which i quickly accepted. cold one in hand, we walked into the living room so i could meet his brothers. oddly, they both were crouched over what appeared to be some sort of remote control vehicle. and they were wearing jumpsuits--the kind of jumpsuits a mechanic would wear. i was instantly amused and glad i'd come if only to be able to share this moment with my friends the next day.

nice jumpsuits, i said with a smirk. this comment was the last of such comments to be made that evening as i noticed their reactions. they were not amused. actually, they almost seemed unable to process the statement as ironic. they were almost confused. Fred began to explain that they were working on building an autonomous vehicle for this national challenge (it's not a contest nor is it a race, i was informed). i'd arrived as the boys were in the process of making a videotape of their creation for submission to some branch of the Discovery Channel. as they did their thing, Fred also geared up in the grey-blue suit.

it was, quite possibly, one of the weirdest social situations that i've encountered.

left to entertain myself as the boys spewed jargon (one said "algorithm" as if it were no big deal! that's right! no.big.deal.) at the digital camcorder, i studied a wayward copy of Building Robots for Dummies. i spotted my former teacher on a poster that the boys were using as a backdrop for their movie. i petted one of the cats. i came up with theories about smart people and the general disarray of their living space. i stifled laughter. i finished my beer. eventually, i watched part of a movie with Fred and said goodbye without a goodnight kiss. he hasn't called, and i'm kind of glad about that.