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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

neighborhood watchman

well, the evening began with good eats...


and some card playing (and cheating)



it was my birthday celebretory weekend and it turned out being a horrible evening. i do share, however, because there is the story of the Manhattan Neighborhood Watch.

there was a bit of drama early in the evening that erupted with my tears and curses. it was a culmination of many things i hate about my life coupled with the unequal levels of drunkenness between members of our party. somehow, i managed to stop crying, reapply makeup, and even begin laughing again as we made our way into the city. it was dramatic and gross, but i'm still certain that i'm completely right in my assertations during that explosion.

once in the city, we all started drinking heavily--likely to help ignore the fact that some of us actually hated one another. we found a foosball table, and much to my surprise, i performed very well. my excitement lead to many photographs of us pretending to be incredibly sexy, kickass sportsmembers.


when that got old or we ran out of quarters, we relocated to the back of the bar where i began flirting heavily with one of the members of our party. he was the one i didn't hate at the time. he was also the one that is not dating my best friend. so at least i was being logical. at one point, we encountered what may have been the creepiest lurker in the entire city. i'm not sure where he came from, but he was suddenly there. i had my friends pose so that i could capture him. i'm convinced i was really slick about the whole deal, but he probably caught on when i started cracking up and showing everyone the thumbnail shot on my digital camera. hopefully he isn't stalking me with future intentions of a gruesome murder.


after this, things became much less jovial. the boys were exceedingly more drunk than us gals were and "dick-boy" mode was beginning to emerge in one. when my friend ran into an old college dude at our next bar stop, the violence began. the two boys had been playing pool on the other side of the bar when B made a direct line from his spot at the table to the exact position between L and her friend. it was really obvious that he was being a dick, and the innocent (and ugly, i pleaded later with B...i was trying everything) friend began showing off his girlfriend's phone number in an effort to calm this other ass down. nothing worked.

somehow B ended up outside with our other male party member. i remember seeing the other male fall to the ground, and the recoiling, shoving arms of B. so now L and i are outside. me, ever the loud drunken diplomat, positioned myself between the two boys only to be caught up in thrown punches. random men, and one girl, on the streets were now more concerned than interested and amused. out of nowhere, a very large man appeared and identified himself to me as a member of the neighborhood watch. i think i may have laughed at him before briefly explaining the situation, but i'm not exactly certain because i was then approached by the previously mentioned female. she tapped me on the shoulder and begain proclaiming, with great certainty, that i was the most beautiful woman out that evening. i think i was flattered, and i'm not even sure that she was hitting on me. it was just a nice break from the warring boys.

i looked to find my neighborhood watchman when the other male member returned. we both searched together and quickly found B being yoked up against a brick wall by our glorious giant friend. that pretty much put an end to the street fighting.

and that's also pretty much the end of the humor to be found in this evening. the drive home consisted of my trying to keep the two boys from hitting each other in the moving vehicle, B punching his dashboard until his knuckles bled, and me and L taking turns crying.

i still love you both, though.


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