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Sunday, May 01, 2005

the vagina dialogues

we'd just sat down in a booth at the diner. it's a diner that everyone in this county, and most that have passed through, have heard of. it's the one that had to change its name because of the lawsuit with the car company. but we all still call it the Lexis, or just Lex.

with the name change was a complete revamping of the diner's interior. before it was standard mauves, blacks, greys, and other forgettable colors that covered the vinyl and linoleum. the renovations brought lots more neon lights and a vibrant interior with wall murals that cover the major walls. our view depicted some sort of ancient town with lots of water and men in tights.


all the waitresses wear vibrant colored shirts instead of the former white shirts with black bowties. i mean, it's nice, but it's just a diner.

my mother and i were seated next to one of the muraled walls, so when she started making a funny face, i had a feeling what she'd noticed.

"what are you looking at?" and i turned to confirm what i thought she'd answer.

"doesn't it look like a V?"

apparently, "V" was her codename for "vagina."

she had spotted this:


"yeah, well, there's a term for that, mom."


i cleared my throat and adjusted my glasses for effect. "yes. when you can see it like that through someone's pants, it's referred to as a camel toe."

she was amused, if only for the conversion of her V to my explicit term.

this brought to mind the previous visit we'd had to this diner, when we were seated next to a section of the mural which was home to a very well endowed elderly man.

we reminisced briefly and dicussed the likelihood of the artist's homosexuality. i looked over and saw him at the far end of the wall next to which we were seated. there was an older couple seated next to our subject. they didn't seem to notice his bulging crotch. i kept my eye on them, hoping they were close to finishing their meal. when the booth was finally free, i scooted over and took a shot:


has no one else noticed this? we did some further sudy of the mural, noting the absence of many females, but those seemed to be the only two suggestive subjects. of course, that is only one wall of our mighty diner...

there's an expose in here just waiting to be discovered, don't you think?


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