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Friday, July 15, 2005

a word to the sponsors

the following commercials should be put in a hole in the ground with terrorists.

1. the one for the mini-van that says "mothers have changed. shouldn't the mini-van?"
no, you assclown. you should fucking change you sexist, ignorant, fuck.

2. the one for some kind of menopause pill that says it can "increase the risk of uterine cancer if you have a uterus." YOU ARE A MORON.

3. the one for that new SUV that plays "Dust in the Wind." just because i really fucking like that song, and i'd rather not picture some phallic looking automobile when i hear it, you selfish advertising asses.

4. the one for Coke that has some lame-looking urbanites sitting atop a roof with an acoustic guitar in some new-age hippie circle, singing about teaching the world to CHILL. yes, yes. that's it. take a deep breath. just chill. that's what the fucking world needs. sonofabitch! HA! damn! how'd we fuckin' miss THAT ONE! whew!

3 Comments:

At 7/15/2005 11:03:00 PM, Blogger Jehza said...

Re: #3

I prefer the commercial to the video for "Dust in the Wind," featuring big hair close-ups, high-school-AV-class-style effects, and heartfelt lipsyncing.

 
At 7/16/2005 11:10:00 AM, Blogger Dennis said...

Or what about that other spot with the Buick something or other and everyone's pretending that they are from the CIA or something protecting someone important, but it just turns out to be children who are likely making fun of the fat kid during recess.

I always liked the Gap spot where all the kids are wear I think chords, and they are all singing that Donovan song, Mellow Yellow. Shit, I always thought that was great. I would always think of my friend Reeny anytime that spot came on. Now the Gap spots are headlined by Joss Stone who replaced SJP, who scared me terribly in those spots. I felt they to bubble gummy for my taste, when I'm more of an Orbitz man myself.

The world has really created some wonderful Ad Wizards, huh?

 
At 7/28/2005 04:41:00 PM, Anonymous Lana said...

ok, ok, i know the commercial for coke is lame and it really does make g-love look like a complete sell-out, but he was totally my first big big big music obsession in the early enna-faye years, and for that, me dedication to him and his career choices will never waiver.

 

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